TO MISS

What I miss...

Is the connection of love. That peaceful sense that someone knows you completely; to be utterly exposed to someone who loves you any which way. A lover who knows you before you utter a word; a spiritual union you can feel without them being next to you.

I miss the look of love. The twinkle in the eyes of the man who is excited to see you; the nervous touch of a lover who wants to make love to you; the eager bend of his neck that wants to hear every audible sound from you...and you want the same of him and react equally.

I miss the intellect of love. The sharing of stories. The new thoughts. Insights from another's perspective and experiences. The collaboration of projects. The uplifting, heartbreaking, astounding, contradicting, motivating conversations.

I miss the power of love. Knowing that someone has your back, and you have theirs; like an exclusive gang that only two people will ever really know and understand. An invincible force that is banded together. It can move mountains and frequently does.

I miss the patience of love. The only person you can totally lose it over and will instantly forgive you. The one who will wait because they believe in you. The one who will accept you even when you're at your worst.

I miss the commitment of love. The daily routines that arise from caring enough about each other to be involved completely and wholely. These include the phone calls, follow through, how to cook the chicken, what toothpaste to buy, letting go of your pride, stroking some ego. The small alterations, modifications become yours. They're not seen as compromises; it's renamed as care.

I miss the romance of love. The first kiss, unexpected flowers, sweet letters, personal songs, inside jokes, pleasant teases, anniversaries, candle light dancing.

I miss the playfulness of love. The consistent laughter, wrestling, giggling, chasing each other naked, butt smacking, pinching, poking, joking, serenading, jumping, improvising. The zest to impress. The quirky twists and turns to fun.

I miss the adventure of love. The weekend excursions, plans for rainy days, vacations, vision boards, barbeques, games, parties. The numerous paths chosen by two partners destined for the spirited journeys.

I miss the harmony and tenderness of love. The wiping of tears, forehead kisses, a shared quiet; the strong hug that feels like a hideaway of strength.

I miss the friendship of love. The trust of a person who is reliable; who bears witness to your highs and lows. A friend for life no matter if sex is forever restricted.

I miss the growth of love. When choices are hard and love is tested. The moment your lover reflects, gets in touch internally and comes back to fight for understanding.

I miss the attraction, passion of love. The lust, fire in the pit of your stomach, racing heart, the epidermal ravaging of each other's bodies. The attraction to which begins, builds, maintains and flows. The great and consistent sex! The passion to which only gets better with age.

I miss...

You.

By Johanna Vanderspool

October 12, 2010